spend most of January drawing that silly flowery curtain drawing (it took me 20 days to finish it). That's a lot of time, I never need that much for one single drawing. But I wanted to finish it, no matter how long it would take me. and it was actually quit a satisfying project to work on, bit by bit it grew, from a white page to a page covered in pink flowers to a page covered in a very light shade of black to a page with all different shades of black. It's not the best thing in the world, it could have been a lot better. But I made it, I put all the effort in it to finish it. So I'm kind of happy with it. But I don't have that much other drawings to upload this month, because this one took me so long.
But then I accidentally found out that there were a lot of old sketches that I liked, but that I never uploaded. I think I had some stupid reason back then for not uploading them, but I don't exactly remember what it was. But whatever it was, I changed my mind. And right now I thinks it's stupid not to upload them. They're my sketches, so they belong in my gallery. the funny thing is that I always write down the date I started drawing something. Apparently I've had this sketchbook for more than three years now. I've not been super productive in the last three years. But I did make something, and now the bits of something are uploaded, for everybody to enjoy xD.
also, I'm moving back from Texel to my parents house next week. Which means I'm in a possession of a decent scanning device again from next week on. Which means I can decently scan and upload my drawings next month! Instead of having to photograph my stuff which is never really good. I like scanned pictures way better.
Gosh this has been a very hectic month for me. I've been doing my last ever trainee ship, last five months. I had to finish the trainee ship, finish a report (for which I had planned way too less time, stress stress stress), and I had to do a presentation, all in the last four weeks. All while being extremely blurryfaced. If you don't know what that means, you should look up the meaning behind twenty one pilots' blurryface album. But I somehow pushed myself to ignore all the blurryface thoughts, to at least give it all a go and to see were it would take me. Well, so, I'm sitting here. And I'm now a graduated bachelor in analytical chemistry. I somehow did something good, even though I always think I'm sort of useless and not good enough for graduating anything. But ignoring the blurryface thoughts and working my ass of, despite not having enough time, and despite not having a clue if what I was doing was going to be any good, I did the right job. I graduated. I can tell you, for me that's a huge personal victory. That's why I think that fact deserves a place in my journal. Art is not just a pretty picture, or a fancyfull song. Art for me is a way of life, a way of thinking, a way of being, and a different way of looking at the world as well. Defeating negative thoughts and accomplishing something despite everything your brain tells you is for me a part of art. because I create art by the gift of thought. but it's that same gift that has helped me survive this month, isn't that just awesome? I'm josh dun with the whole blurryface thing (the one in my head not the album, I love that <3), I want to start my own life! Go on to the next step! Not getting stuck at the place I'm now in! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaa c:.